Your best excuses to make it through the winter

4. ‘I just can’t swing in waterproofs’

This one generally comes out by the time you’ve left the 1st tee. Having ballooned one up in the air you than start waving your arms around, demonstrating frantically to your playing partners that your 140-yard tee ball had everything to do with your multi-layering process rather than a swing that doesn’t work.

5. ‘I’m not hitting my numbers’

Having invested in some lessons you now keep your clubs and yardages in a special black book where you also record your putts, GIR and bogey bounce backs.

Next to 7-iron it reads 155 yards. So, in the depths of January at the 158-yard 3rd, you pull out the 7. And, with the pin cut on the back right, come up 15 yards short of the front edge.

This bizarrely happens every year in winter? And it also happens on every other approach? And you’re not really getting your tee shots ‘out there’?

Here’s a clue: when it’s cold the ball doesn’t go as far. Hit three more clubs than you think it is.

6. ‘I’m seeing it two balls from the right’

Much like the distances your driver isn’t travelling the greens won’t be Stimping at 11 in the middle of January.

So, while your version of AimPoint might work a treat in August, don’t expect things to be quite the same in winter.

You can straddle your ball as much, hold two fingers up and use your dominant eye as much as you like but the simple truth is that you will be complaining about a) the bobbles, and b) the slow pace whenever your putter face meets the ball.

Here’s a clue: it doesn’t matter, nobody else is holing a thing. Enjoy yourself.

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