Four players. Four questions. One topic. In this week’s Fourball, Alex Perry, Mark Townsend, James Savage and Steve Carroll take to the tee to discuss golf dress codes, inspired by social media chat this week that had people seething. But first…
What is the most ridiculous dress code infringement you’ve witnessed?
Alex: At about the age of 14 I walked into my dad’s golf club wearing jeans. I needed to go in for about 10 minutes, but was immediately shown the door by a member. Pathetic.
Mark: In 1986 a friend who played for Chelsea’s youth team turned up in a pair of shorts of his favourite football team. It was approximately 30-degrees and it was 4pm on a Sunday. The pro made him play in a set of waterproof trousers which very nearly killed him from heat exhaustion.
James: Not witnessed anything first hand apart from an incident involving a sausage roll but that’s a story for another day. A friend of mine was made to buy some long socks after being refused to play in ankle socks. He and his friend took them off on the second tee.
Steve: I recently saw someone wearing a Manchester United shirt on a course. That was quite offensive. If it had been Middlesbrough, though, I’d have been fine with it.
If you ran a golf club, what dress code(s) would you incorporate?
Mark: The easy and cool answer is none but, if I’m honest, if someone turned up in a Gold’s Gym muscle top then I might feel a bit gutted. My main gripe is the problem people have with socks which, should anyone be reading this in 20 years’ time, will hopefully sound like the words of a mad man.
James: None. There would be no dress code whatsoever. Turn up and play in a clown outfit if you like.
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Steve: People seem to think allowing jeans on the course is one step away from the clubhouse getting graffitied and petrol bombs being chucked in the car park. I’d have no dress code because I reckon that, in the long run, people would wear pretty much what they do already – because it’s designed for golf, efficient and comfortable.
Alex: None. Obviously.
So how did dress codes in golf reach a new low? Find out on the next page…
It kicked off on social media recently because a golfer was told to leave because he was wearing black socks This is a new low, isn’t it?
James: I struggle to answer this without swearing. If any golf club is worrying about the colour and/or length of your socks then they need to fu… Sorry, I couldn’t do it without swearing.
Steve: I speak to a lot of club secretaries and it’s a torment for many of them – trying to guide their clubs through a rancorous debate about the colour and length of socks. Of the many things to be worried about in this world, whether a sock is blue, green, purple, whatever, is not one of them.
Alex: People who get annoyed about the colour of someone’s socks while they play golf are the same people that comment on the Facebook posts of local newspapers getting annoyed at things that affects their life in no way whatsoever. Get over it. The banning of black golf socks is about as low as it gets in golf’s archaic dress codes.
Mark: Like I said this is genuinely the most ludicrous thing to ever waste any breath on. Growing up a mate, who was a guest at the club where I grew up, had the temerity to turn up in some normal socks. He then had to purchase a pair of knee-length shin huggers which made him look like he was about to step into the ring with Mike Tyson in the late 80s rather than just have a game of golf with his school friend. He never asked to come back.
For you, what is the most ridiculous part of this photo that adorns many a golf club website?
Steve: Everything. To paraphrase Happy Gilmore, if I looked like either of those guys I’d have to kick my own ass.
Alex: Why is everyone so offended by a little ankle?
Mark: Personally I find the Union Jack logo the most offensive but that’s just me. The words ‘tailored shorts’ are also pretty ridiculous. In truth his whole get-up, and hairdo, is appalling and not improved by the colour of his socks or where his shirt ends but there we go.
James: It’s the banning of an untucked shirt. Not only are we telling you what to wear, we’re telling you how to wear it. We’re playing golf not trooping the colour. Sometimes I tuck my shirt in, sometimes I don’t. As an adult I should have the right to make that choice. I’ve probably (definitely) got a problem with authority so am actually relishing the day someone from a golf club tells me to tuck my shirt in.
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