Come for Tiger Woods' antics in the middle of the night, stay for Brooks Koepka and Jena Sims freeing the flesh. Alex Perry explains in The Slam

Hello. Welcome to this week’s edition of The Slam. Now, who’s getting excited about the Open? I’m not, but mainly because I’m not going. It’ll be my first missed Open since St George’s in 2011 and I’m still a bit sulky about it so bear with me. (Do the massive brownie points I’m earning at home make up for it? No, no they do not.) Right, shall we talk about Tiger Woods – because we can’t get enough of that guy, can we? But first…

Daly grind

John Daly’s had a fun few days.

After turning up at Moor Allerton, a pitching wedge from NCG Towers, to captain the Yorkshire team against Lancashire in the annual War of the Roses, the Wild Thing posted the following on social media:

My life chapter 84k: Craziest event! Was in England last wk & incurred a spider bite, not really knowing it. Fast forward to Friday, mouth/mouth, compressions & unknowingly now in an ambulance rushed to ER all while on family vacation & straight into surgery! Removing what developed into a major infection in my abdominal area & treated for early sepsis all from a brown recluse! Thk u staff @Nemacolin @UtwnHospital My caddie has now named me ‬#SpiderPro #photoistoographic #GladtobeAlive #InSomeSeriousPain

TLDR? Daly was bitten by a spider, rushed to hospital, underwent surgery.

At that point, however, he was still confident he would play in the Open, despite being denied the use of a buggy by the R&A…

But it didn’t take long before he decided to skip the year’s final major, for which he is exempt until the age of 60, to instead play in the Barbasol Championship.

More importantly, John, where did this spider bite happen and was it at Moor Allerton? Because, y’know, I play quite a bit of golf there..

New balls please

You know the Open is close when social media is full of photos of slebs at Wimbledon, and golfers aren’t shy of a free invite either…

I love this photo of Tommy Fleetwood and Justin Rose…

Tiger Woods

“Rosey, why do they get 15 points for the first two rallies they win and only 10 for the third?” (Is what I imagine he’s saying.)

Irish Open champion Jon Rahm was also there, and his get-up was quite the talking point, including this from Thomas Pieters…

It doesn’t matter how much money you have, you can’t buy dress sense.

Say no to drugs

Viktor Hovland is quickly becoming my favourite golfer (and perhaps person) on the planet.

When asked about his thoughts on him and fellow new kids on the block Matthew Wolff and Collin Morikawa being favourites for this week’s John Deere Classic, he had this epic response…

Don’t ever change, Vik.

Night of the Tiger

While most of the United States was sleeping off a hangover on Sunday night after their Independence Day weekend, Tiger Woods was up and at ’em.

The 15-time major champion (still weird) posted a video on Nike’s Instagram stories at 1am, screeching “It’s Tiger – wake up!” into his phone.

So why was he doing it? Well, he’s getting his body clock adjusted to UK time ahead of next week’s Open.

Woods, who has never played the week before the Open, adds: “It is now 1am here on the East Coast. Why am I doing this right now? Because it is now 6am at Royal Portrush. I will be playing the Open Championship there and in order to be prepared for the time change I’m getting up.”

Here’s the full clip, which Golf Channel’s Sam Marks caught…

Do you know where else is on Northern Ireland time, Tiger?

NORTHERN IRELAND.

Get yourself over here, this can’t possibly be the best way to do it.

See through you

And finally, golf’s newest power couple Brooks Koepka and Jena Sims are not body shy are they? (And why should they be?)

The pair were at the EPSY Awards on Wednesday and it was Jena who caught the eye in a rather revealing outfit at the pre-party.

Now, I’m no prude and I’m often donating money to the #FreeTheNipple campaign, but this is a family website so it’s on the next page if you really want to see it…