Dear golf course owners: Golf is hard enough as it is
Hello. Welcome to another edition of Dialled In. A few days ago I popped over to Robin Hood Golf Club near my home in Owston, South Yorkshire. I’d only gone there to meet a friend for a few holes and a couple of pints of the county’s finest ale, but I ended up sitting down for an hour with the owner and head professional.
I was fascinated by their plans for the club’s Loxley course – see what they did there? – which involves shaving several hundred yards off the course’s length, as well as removing few trees and cutting back all rough so it is essentially no more than your average first cut.
They told me that the members said the former EuroPro Tour host course was too long for them and golf was becoming too difficult there, so they made the rather dramatic decision to shorten the entire track. This is, after all, a course attached to the sublime Owston Hall, a popular venue for all kinds of getaways, including for a spot of our beloved game.
Why am I telling you this? Because I think it’s about bloody time! That’s why.
Only last week I was reading how a golf course in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, is planning to install 18 new tees to make the course more than 8,000 (!) yards long.
Eight. Thousand. Yards.
According to Golf.com:
- The par 3 holes will measure in at 283, 199, 248 and 266 yards (Total: 996 yards; Average: 249 yards)
- The opening hole is a 645-yard par-5 and the other par 5 yardages are 573, 683 and 603 yards (Total: 2,504 yards; Average 626 yards)
- Seven of the par 4 holes will measure more than 460 yards, the longest of which will be the 506-yard 2nd hole, which is one of two par-4s exceeding 500 yards
Excuse my language, but gee whizz!
The course’s owner, Rick Elliott, told a Myrtle Beach Online: “Now all I need is Dustin Johnson to step on the 1st tee of the [new] tee boxes and see what he can do with it.”
Really going after the majority there, champ.
Note to Rick: Even Dustin Johnson doesn’t want to be playing 8,000 yard golf courses.
Note to every golf course owner: GOLF IS HARD ENOUGH AS IT IS.
So I applaud those at Robin Hood Golf Club that made this decision. I’ll be going back in the very near future to find out how they are getting on, so keep an eye out for the full report.
I was going to go into a little rant about why tee boxes should be determined by handicaps rather than gender and age, but it’s currently 11.23pm and I’d really like to go to bed so I’ll save that for another day.
If you agree or, indeed, disagree with me that golf courses should be shorter and the rough should be cut back, I’d love to hear from you in the comments below, or you can tweet me – @AlexPerryNCG – or text me. (If you don’t have my number it obviously wasn’t meant to be.)
Anyway, here are some things from social media I enjoyed this week…
Euro sceptic
Hands up: Who loves the Eurovision Song Contest? A lot of you too ashamed to admit it, I see.
Well, if you’re enough of a fan to go and watch the world’s biggest karaoke competition live in Lisbon in a couple of weeks, then don’t think you’ll be able to sneak in any time to work on your short game – golf balls are on the lengthy list of items banned from entering the arena.
Why? Answers on a postcard. Here’s the whole list:
Other notable exclusions include selfie sticks, shopping trolleys, umbrellas, and megaphones. As funny as they would all be.
Happy slap
What did you think of the walk-on music at the golf this weekend? I chatted about it enough in the latest episode of The Slam, while my colleague Keel Timmins also had his say on the matter in Alternate Shot.
I’ll say this: It was, as I understand the kids say, “well cringe”. Honestly, every time they announced someone on the tee, I was watching through my fingers.
Eddie Pepperell summed it up rather nicely…
Dufner… Iron Maiden…. Oxymoron. Only seen about 3 of these walk on music things and my opinion is; I’m dreading it next week at GolfSixes.
— Eddie Pepperell (@PepperellEddie) April 29, 2018
But, one thing that caught my attention during Thursday’s opening round was Bubba Watson making birdie and then getting one full in the face from partner Matt Kuchar.
"I figured this was a good opportunity for me to slap @bubbawatson in the face." – Matt Kuchar explaining the team's birdie celebration. ? pic.twitter.com/I3I5aACBR8
— PGA TOUR (@PGATOUR) April 27, 2018
Fair play. Not many would turn down the opportunity to go open handed on Bubba…
Mo’ babies, mo’ problems
Congratulations to former world No. 1 Stacy Lewis who is expecting her first child with husband Gerrod Chadwell.
The early November due date means Lewis will play through until around June, then will be back in 2019 to really begin her assault on making next year’s Solheim Cup team.
And the two-time major champion received a lovely surprise from sponsor KPMG. I’ll let her pick up the story…
“They called me and said they wanted to pay me for the whole contract, regardless of the number of tournaments I played in,” Lewis told Golfweek. “They see me as a member of their team and their family and they wanted to treat me like any other female in their organisation that has a baby. Which I was pretty blown away by, shocked to get that phone call really.”
She added: “In our sport you don’t get paid unless you play. Take away tournaments, you take away income from both sides. That money is not guaranteed unless you play. For a lot of people who are thinking about starting a family, that’s a deal-breaker.”
Nope
This tweet has been doing the rounds for the last week or so…
And you thought golf was boring? @Madison_Golf @BlissfieldGolf pic.twitter.com/RNDcHd8lob
— Blissfield Athletics (@BlissAthletics) April 22, 2018
Genuinely my idea of hell.
And just because it was the funniest tweet of the year so far
More from Pepperell when asked when he was next heading to North America to ply his trade…
If I qualify for the US Open then it’ll be that event Scott. Same with USPGA. America scares me frankly. I’d get so fat. And lose my sense of humour. And I can’t afford to lose my sense of humour. Not fussed about seeing my penis. https://t.co/Q7PHNiNvj8
— Eddie Pepperell (@PepperellEddie) April 24, 2018
That’s enough from me. Have a good week.
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Click here for the full Dialled In archive
Alex Perry
Alex has been the editor of National Club Golfer since 2017. A Devonian who enjoys wittering on about his south west roots, Alex moved north to join NCG after more than a decade in London, the last five of which were with ESPN. Away from golf, Alex follows Torquay United and spends too much time playing his PlayStation or his guitar and not enough time practising his short game.
