Playing golf can be something of a mouthful, especially when you aren’t equipped with all the right equipment.
You’ve got your clubs, your golf shoes, you’ve even got a collared shirt. But all of that is wasted if you don’t have the vocabulary.
So here at National club golfer, we’re the publication for the everyday player and we’ve taken it upon ourselves to give you a step-by-step introduction to the wonderful world of the golfing lexicon.
Word of the week: Dogballs
What I think it means:
They say that everyday’s a school day, and I guess we’re going to prove it here, because I don’t know what a dogball is.
You get the feeling that it’s something like a golf ball that has come upon hard times. It’s been battered around the rough, maybe even recovered from a water hazard, yet it just refuses to be lost. Seemingly charmed, you use this ball way beyond that expected of a normal ball, when it is scuffed and shabby.
See also: cheeseball
Given that image, ’cheeseballs’ is pretty obvious. But why would that account for it being called ’dogballs’? What have dogs got to do with it?
Let’s keep thinking…
OK, Golf is played by gentlemen who are plenty smart, the upper crust, and as such they have a slightly smutty side.
Admit it, the first thing you thought of when I said ’dogballs’ was a well-hung bulldog.
But I can’t for the life of me think how that would translate into the golfing world. So I’m hoping I was right the first time around.
Scoring an eight on any single golf hole. Can also be referred to as the ’snowman’.
The origin of the term is in reference to what the number ’eight’ looks like on its side.
Yeah that’s right, a dog’s genitalia…
Golfers eh? So predictable.
Use it in a sentence:
“Oh balls, I got dogballs on that last hole.”
What this actually means:
So I was right the second time around – smutty, smutty immature golfers. I shake my fist in despair at you.
And fart in your general direction. But no doubt you’ll giggle at that
I guess when you’re playing a dogleg and an eight is scored, then it isn’t too much of a leap to go from ’leg’ to ’balls’.
But come on, there are at least a thousand alternatives that you could use, without being crass.
Such as…erm…give me a minute…