Hello. Is it Monday morning already? Here’s another addition of Dialled In for you to sink your teeth into. Or eyes. Sink your eyes into. That’s better.

You may have noticed it is now rather chilly outside. I went for a quick knock over the weekend and I had to wear a base layer. A base layer! I wasn’t even sure where it was it’s been that long. (It was in my wardrobe all along.)

Luckily, I love playing in the cold. I get to wrap up warm, wear a nice wooly hat, take a flask of tea. Or whisky. It’s lovely, isn’t it? When you get on the 1st tee at daybreak and there’s a crispy feeling under your spikes as the morning dew just starts to defrost.

Well, I am not the only person at NCG Towers who shares a love of winter golf, so we decided to celebrate for a whole week. We started, of course, by sharing exactly why we love winter golf.

Keep an eye out during the week, because the whole team will be contributing. If you want to get involved in the conversation on Twitter and Facebook, the hashtag is #NCGWinterGolf.

Rorying back to fitness

Sorry. It’s Monday not Punday.

Anyway, remember when Tiger Woods posted a video of himself chipping? And then hitting iron shots? And then the driver? And then the goddamn stinger? The exhilaration!

Well Rory McIlroy has been doing something similar and no one has said a thing. OK, Rors has been in action as recently as the Dunhill Links, but there has been that nagging feeling for a while that something just ain’t right in his back.

But he is out there grinding – I hate that phrase – as you can see from his Instagram posts in recent days. And it seems he doesn’t quite enjoy the cold weather as much as we do…

Some gate and green reading work today. #progress

A post shared by RORY (@rorymcilroy) on

Oct 27, 2017 at 2:08am PDT

Who would bet against McIlroy adding to his four major titles next year? Certainly not me.

Apropos I once had a bet with a friend who works for a well-known club and apparel brand who said McIlroy would never win a major. Easiest tenner I ever made. (I should have made it £10 for every major McIlroy won…)

Top Trumped

Since becoming President of the United States, Donald Trump has played more golf than your average tour pro.

On a recent trip to Japan, he teed up with the country’s Prime Minister, Shinzo Abe, and their best golfer, World No. 4 Hideki Matsuyama.

He even tweeted a quick video from the links…

Now, I am loathe to give Trump any kind of airtime, but this response from SB Nation writer Kyle Robbins is just too good to miss…

Unhappy Gilmore

My Saturday mornings are often spent in the play room surrounded by children’s toys. It’s OK, my daughter is there too. While she bops her head to whatever noisy chunk of plastic nonsense her grandmother has bought her that week, I will flick channels to find something she wants to watch. Or, to be more precise, something I want to watch.

I skimmed past Kirk Douglas’s 1951 movie Ace in the Hole because, despite its title, it has absolutely nothing to do with golf. And so I ventured into my recordings and found the greatest golf movie of all time, Happy Gilmore. (Sorry, Caddyshack fans, but it is.)

Oh how I miss the good ol’ days. Now Adam Sandler is still playing the same character in every film despite being in his 50s, Frances Bay, who played Gilmore’s adorable grandmother, and Richard “you can count on me waiting for you in the parking lot” Kiel are sadly no longer with us, while Christopher McDonald, who plays the finest movie villain of all time in Shooter McGavin, was recently slammed into a Los Angeles jail cell for drink driving.

The spoof Twitter account even had some fun with it…

Now while there is nothing funny about dangerous driving, McDonald did provide a delicious twist on the usual “don’t you know who I am?” by telling the cops he was in fact the antagonist in the impossibly popular Sandler flick.

Other things I really hope he said to the arresting officer:

“I eat pieces of s**t like you for breakfast.”
“Just stay out of my way… or you’ll pay. Listen to what I say.”
“Damn you people – this is golf.”
“You lay another finger on me, I burn the house down and p*ss on the ashes.”
“I’ve gotta tell you, he spends more time in the sand than David Hasslehoff.”

OK, a couple of those don’t work, but he had been drinking.

Tame the Tiger

When Tiger’s not posting videos of chip shots and iron shots and… well, we’ve been over this… he is guesting on women’s basketball podcasts. Obviously.

“I can’t believe how far I’m hitting the ball,” he told Holding Court host Geno Auriemma. “I’m back to hitting my full numbers and I’m not really trying to.”

A humble brag from a GOAT is a rare thing in sport.

“Oh and Virginia, so you know, my jacket size is 44 long and my right arm is a little longer than my left.”

Get shirty

Tiger has probably tweeted more times in the past few months than he has in the previous 10 years.

Here he is at a Raiders game breaking the golden rule that no adult human should ever wear a football jersey…

You’re 41 Eldrick, for goodness sake.

Still, at least it is not a porn star telling Tiger to “retire with dignity”.

And the winner is…

Teams from France, South Africa and England took each other on to break the world record of playing a par-5 in the fastest time.

I won’t spoil it for you, but it’s so tense at the end you’d think M. Night Shyamalan had directed it…