Now Bryson DeChambeau is upset about some ants. Obviously

I was a little bit bored watching the 3M Open last week. No disrespect to winner Michael Thompson, a fine golfer and even finer human, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. It took just a few holes of the watching the WGC-FedEx St Jude Invitational for me to work it out. Bryson DeChambeau.

No Bryson, no party. He really is the gift that keeps on giving. Just when you think he hasn’t got anything more to give, here he comes to fall out with someone again, whether it’s a cameraman, or Brooks Koepka, or a rules official.

This time? It’s ants.

Yes. Ants.

Fire ants, to be precise. Whatever they are. Any Americans want to help me out?

DeChambeau was 4-under par with three holes remaining when he hoiked his tee shot at the 7th and his ball came to rest under a tree.

Then he saw his way out.

DeChambeau told the unfortunate rules official assigned to him, Ken Tackett, that his ball was close to an animal hole and that he should get relief.

So was DeChambeau being unreasonable?

My colleague and Rules of Golf expert Steve Carroll tells me that Rule 16.2a says a “dangerous animal condition exists when a dangerous animal near a ball could cause serious physical injury to the player if he or she had to play the ball as it lies”.

In the Rules of Golf’s dangerous animals list? Poisonous snakes, stinging bees, alligators, bears, and fire ants.

So although Tackett ultimately decided that two ants doesn’t pose a threat to DeChambeau’s well-being, perhaps we’re being a bit unfair on the six-time PGA Tour champion.

What isn’t defensible is the fact DeChambeau argued his case for six minutes. Six. Minutes.

Surely by now rules officials just play Rock, Paper, Scissors to decide who has to go and deal with him.

In the meantime stay tuned for next week’s edition where DeChambeau will be starting a fight in an empty room.

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