What’s the worst Christmas present a golfer could receive?

19th hole

Dec 21, 2021

Can you beat any of the efforts from the well-intentioned families of the NCG team?

What’s the worst Christmas golf gifts you can think of or, even worse, actually received? Before you answer, see if you can beat anything the NCG team have been unfortunate enough to unwrap down the years…

Ben Outhwaite: There is no such thing as a bad golf-related Christmas present…

Alex Perry: Exploding golf balls. Chocolate golf balls. Ball monogrammers. If it’s been made, I’ve received it from a well-intentioned aunt who almost certainly spends every Christmas standing in a department store asking my very bored uncle: “Would Alex like this?” The worst golf presents are almost exclusively novelty. Spoiler alert: No one wants that toilet putting game you play on the can. Smartphones have been around for my entire adult life. We’ve got much better things to do.

Jack Backhouse: I’ve lost count of how many golf-themed mugs have gone straight from the being bought to the charity shop via a short stint under my Christmas tree.

George Cooper: I used to work in a golf club shop, so I spent many Boxing Days dishing out refunds and exchanges for bad Christmas gifts bought just days before. As for me, remember emoji golf balls? They might still be a thing, but really shouldn’t. And while golf balls are the best present for a golfer, make sure it’s not a budget brand. I’ve also been gifted a ball retriever which is yet to make it out of the garage, and a dog headcover like the one Rory McIlroy has. I’m allergic to dogs – and although I’m not allergic to a headcover, it did feel like they were rubbing it in a bit.

Dan Murphy: I mean, all of the above and all of the below, obviously. But I would have to give it to a truly woeful encyclopaedia of golf I once got as a teenager. I would and will read just about anything on golf but this was beyond me. Is there anything worse than a generalist book on a specialist subject? If you wanted to develop an encyclopaedic knowledge of golf, and I did, then you were going to need so much more than this introductory nonsense. It had clearly been compiled by some non-golfers, which is not a bad start for such a book. I had hoped it would at least see me through a Christmas EastEnders special but I had cast it aside before Dirty Den and Angie had even had a drink.

Steve Carroll: A very well-meaning relative bought me an indoor putting mat one year and I knew as soon as it came out of the box that it would never experience the feeling of ball on astroturf. The fake grass was as thick as a hedge. I can’t be the only person who has a putting green in exile somewhere in their garage.

Hannah Holden: To be honest I haven’t had that many terrible ones as most of my family are golfers too. But I probably have more putter-shaped pencils than I can count. I’m sure I’ll make use of them one day, before they consume me, but if it’s not something I can use on a golf course I’m not interested.

Tom Irwin: It’s not so much the presents, it’s the cards. They are completely pointless at the best of times, especially in this digital age.