Merchandise
You can buy an oar. An OAR. Why on earth would you even want an oar? Let alone a US Open branded oar?
That’s still not the silliest thing you can pick up bearing the Shinnecock Hills logo in the merchandise tent. Running it close is the nautical compass – for when you plan that sailing jaunt but want a constant reminder of that time you went to watch some golf.
You can have your initials hand stamped into a forged ballmarker. Maybe Seamus will do it for you.
“They’re pretty popular,” he said. “It’s just something different. It’s not the normal laser engraving. It’s all done by hand and each piece is unique and personalised.”
Shop isn’t an adequate description for this consumer metropolis, even though it’s no bigger than what we’ll see at Carnoustie. Unless they are selling bagpipes they’ve lost this battle.
Score: US Open -1, The Open E
Weather
Weather forecasts in the US are incredible. If it tells you it’s going to rain between 11.13am and 11.57am, then you damn sure know it’s going to rain between 11.13am and 11.57am. If it tells you it’s going to be glorious sunshine, you better take plenty of sun cream.
In the UK, we’ll be promised 25 degrees and sunshine yet you’ll still need to pack shorts and waterproofs and everything in between.
Score: US Open -2, The Open E
Food
If you want something substantial, you’re not getting much change out of a 20 on either side of the Atlantic, but when it comes to sandwiches and snacks the US comes into its own.
Augusta is famous for its incredibly fair priced food, while here at Shinnecock you can grab a peanut butter and jelly – that’s jam to you and us – sandwich for $3.
Advertisement
And in terms of quality? No contest.
Score: US Open -3, The Open E
Drinks
Everything you eat here puts you one clogged vein closer to a cardiac arrest so why would liquids be any different?
You can buy a lemonade so large you could actually drown in it. It’s 32 ounces, or two pints. We can already feel our belts straining.
[object Object][object Object][object Object][object Object][object Object][object Object]
“We sell a lot,” said Melanie at the concessions stand close to the 10th tee. No wonder the queues for the toilets are longer than a Dustin Johnson drive.
At The Open, we’re selling gourmet whiskies and cider out of those glasses that make you look like you’re drinking posh wine. It’s close, but our far, far, far superior beer edges it for us.
Score: US Open -3, The Open -1
The Open has pulled a shot back, but can it catch its US counterpart? Find out on the next page…
Getting to the course
No one does this better than us. We know how to handle a queue and we know how to get people moving. It’s in our DNA. The Americans have a lot to learn.
Let’s put a tournament on with one road in and one road out. When everyone’s queuing for two hours just to reach the venue, the solution is not to say, ‘Tough, set off earlier.’ But it’s hard to argue with someone toting a pistol so we all just sit breathing in diesel instead.
[object Object][object Object][object Object][object Object]
Score: US Open -3, The Open -2
Stewarding
The marshalls do a great job at The Open, but there’s always someone who looks very recently removed from a war zone.
You can spot this person a mile away. They’re usually sporting a buzzcut and like to take a Desert Storm approach to mobile phone enforcement. Nothing makes their day more than stripping you of your dignity – whether you deserve it or not.
They’re far more relaxed Stateside. They smile – a lot. They are interested in you. They want to hear about your day.
“We’re here to have fun,” explained marshall Tom Fleischman from his vantage point on top of the 14th tee.
“It’s just as big a deal for us to be here as the spectators. We get to interact with a lot of different people from a lot of different areas and it’s just a lot of fun.”
And when they do have to step in? “It’s firm but polite. We’re more of an aid than an enforcer.”
Score: US Open -4, The Open -2
Spectator village
It’s less tented village, more hamlet at Shinnecock Hills. Good things comes in small packages they say but, in comparison, it’s like a rock concert at The Open. When you’re packing tens of thousands of spectators in every day, bigger is definitely better.
You can take on the ‘epic putt’ at Shinnecock as Alex so nearly pulled off…
[object Object][object Object][object Object][object Object]
…but at The Open you can hit out of a replica of the road hole bunker at St Andrews. It’s really no contest.
Score: US Open -4, The Open -3
Viewing golf
There are plenty of bleachers dotted around Shinnecock Hills – enough to house around 12,000 fans. Plus most of them are bench-style rather than seats, which makes for a much more laid-back style of viewing golf.
But you just can’t beat those huge stands that surround the 18th at almost all Open venues – think the horseshoe stadium setup at Hoylake.
Need another reason? British golf fans vs. American golf fans.
Score: US Open -4, The Open -4
Advertisement
Final result
It was looking like the US Open was going to run away with it there, but The Open pulled it back with a couple of late birdies.
Both events were tied at 4-under, but The Open takes it in a sudden-death play-off for it’s all-round spectator experience.
The oldest, and still the best.
Eight reasons why you wouldn’t break 100 at Shinnecock Hills
Advertisement
