The Road to Alwoodley – Week 8: And relax

Preparing for the Brabazon Trophy: Week  5

Sunday April 29

I am in Borgo Egnazia on a family holiday. On the flight out I show Justine last week’s blog entry. I study her reaction closely. She looks genuinely concerned and then says, “Do you think you need to chill out?”

She is probably right so I spend the flight flicking through my new book Golf for Enlightenmnent by a man called Deepak Chopra. Feel quite zen when we land.

Jusser spends the flight in a right flap about our boys making too much noise, and says something unrepeatable when I suggest she should chill out and offer her my book.

Monday April 30

Much swimming in the morning and I intended to practice golf in the afternoon. Instead ate lunch for 4 hours and then binge-watched After Life on Netflix in a pasta-induced coma and vowed to be a better human.

Tuesday April 31

I play golf with the director of golf Alessandro. It is very windy. The golf course is a kind of links in the sense that it is near the sea, but has things like ponds, and raised greens. I am saying it is a parkland, near the sea. It is absolutely immaculate and despite the two-club wind low scoring is more than possible.

I am in turmoil after last week’s body blows and am attributing a frankly ludicrous amount of importance to our friendly game in the sun, and decide to Arcoss my scores just to make sure all joy is removed.

Alessandro is a bit rusty and is fighting a hook, and I sense a bit grumpy. We have a small language barrier, and we are sharing a buggy so I pace my conversational topics carefully to ensure we have enough to get us through all 18. But he goes in after nine and I hadn’t even had a chance to ask him about his top five Italian courses. I am a little bit hurt.

I look at my Arccos results. Apparently I am a 30+ handicap from bunkers. Excellent.

If you knife it out of a bunker it is fair to say ⁦@ArccosGolf⁩ does not rate you as a sand player pic.twitter.com/ubhHIKRwye

— Tom Irwin (@TomIrwingolf) May 1, 2019

I go to the gym after golf and do some power moves and feel much better.

Wednesday May 1

Go and work on some short game and take my little boy putting, he adopts a side saddle technique that I am now contemplating employing.

Another tiresome phenom clip.

If you are wondering about the side saddle thing, we have been studying black and white footage of Snead on YouTube Kids. pic.twitter.com/JhnIgcTtdj

— Tom Irwin (@TomIrwingolf) April 29, 2019

Thursday May 2

No golf today so decide to review my caddying options for the Brabazon Trophy as I have had several applications.

Here is my shortlist:

1. One of the younger members of the golf club has said he is “very keen” to caddie for me. I have discounted him on the basis that he is “very keen” to caddie for me.
2. My regular caddy of the last few years, Neil Crawford. I have actually already said he can do it, so there is that to consider. He has recently joined the R&A so could be a good person to keep on side. Against him his inability to focus (think it is an age thing) and he has on numerous occasions attempted to read putts while leaning on the trolley several yards away.
3. My colleague, Mark Townsend, who caddied for me in ‘the Brab’ last year. Abject failure and him saying he doesn’t want to do it mean I can probably discount.
4. I would quite like my business partner, playing partner and best friend Dan to do it, but would quite like him not to be the
   world’s most negative golfer. Plus he hasn’t actually expressed any interest.
5. Dave McCarthy was an excellent caddie in the Northern Amateur last year and has extensive looping experience, plus a top 5 in the Brab himself. Can never shake the feeling he thinks I am really awful.
6. Jack, because I like the idea of having my swing coach on the bag, because he can help out if things go wrong, because he is more deluded than me, and because he is the most upbeat person I know. He is also good at reading putts and used to work at Alwoodley. He did caddie for me once before in Open qualifying but lost interest when we slipped to 3-over somewhere round the turn, but maybe he has grown up since then.
7. JT, who has expressed an interest and is quite a soothing presence, befitting of a retired GP. Think he is more interested in the scene than me, also won’t stop pitching feature ideas and is not available for the weekend.
8. My dad, who does not play golf and despises everything about it.
9. An actual professional caddie.

Karl says I should not have a caddie.

Friday May 3

Golf again at Borgo. Perfectly calm morning. No reason to not to register in the 60s and I do!

Several laps of @sandomenicogolf @Borgo_Egnazia this week, all played in a stiff sea breeze. Played fast and firm, Bermuda everywhere, in pristine condition, quite difficult to categorise. Definitely good. @PlayedbyNCG pic.twitter.com/2fsWQH0bJj

— Tom Irwin (@TomIrwingolf) May 3, 2019

Head directly to the gym do my power work with renewed energy. Life is good again.

Saturday May 4

Travel home but arrive just in time to contemplate the Medal at Alwoodley in the evening. Karl has warned against playing when ill-prepared so I decide against it. And I can’t find a partner, and apparently the CSS did not go to a NQ, and I am tired.

Sunday May 5

Head to Alwoodley to play 10 holes of potential betterball from the back tees.

Score 4-under and nearly hole my tee shot on 14, and 2nd shot on 15.

Drive home in a Bentley I have on loan, listening to the new Chemical Brothers album renewed, refreshed, and ready to take on the world.

What a difference a week (and a free holiday in a five-star hotel and a flash car and a couple of glasses of wine) makes.

Missed week 4 of my preparation for the Brabazon Trophy? Head to the next page…

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