Sergio Garcia revealed his Masters Champions Dinner menu on Tuesday…
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…and it got us thinking: If you were the Masters champion, what would you serve to your peers?
Alex Perry: It’s tough. You’ve got to keep Bubba happy! I’d probably serve my grandma’s Sunday roast.
Mark Townsend: What’s in your granny’s roast?
Alex Perry: Beef and lamb, mint jelly – not sauce – with roast potatoes that are crispy on the outside and fluffy on the inside and you’re winding me up aren’t you?
James Broadhurst: Beef and lamb in the same roast? Respect.
Alex Perry: Never been to a carvery, James?
Mark Townsend: Not with you, or her, on the jelly. Would like to say roast lamb but an enormous and predictable T-bone would likely get the nod. Not many trimmings, definitely not tomatoes or onion rings, though yes to mushrooms and spinach. Maybe grilled sardines to get us going. Supposedly most of the old boys round the table ignore the champion’s choice and just order a steak anyway.
Alex Perry: Who do you reckon turned their nose up at Tiger Woods’ cheeseburgers?
Mark Townsend: I’ve no idea, but apparently Vijay got a round of applause for his one, Nick Faldo didn’t for his steak and kidney pie.
Alex Perry: Going to look up Vijay’s… Seafood tom kah, chicken panang curry, baked sea scallops with garlic sauce, rack of lamb with yellow kari sauce, baked filet Chilean sea bass with three-flavour chili sauce, lychee sorbet. I’d rather have the steak and kidney…
Craig Middleton: I’d get KFC.
Alex Perry: Other chicken-based fast food chains are available.
Steve Carroll: I’ll serve whatever I can get for a fiver in Lidl.
Alex Perry: Other German discount supermarkets are available.
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James Broadhurst: Netto?
Alex Perry: Danish, I believe. Anyway, Steve, you’re the Masters champion. You’re a millionaire. And I’m pretty sure Augusta National picks up the tab.
Steve Carroll: Nothing wrong with being frugal, Alex.
Alex Perry: So what are you serving up with your £5 Lidl voucher?
Steve Carroll: Frozen treats appeal more to me than a bowl full of caviar. I’d serve two things I couldn’t live without: pizza and an ice cold beer.
Alex Perry: I bet you’re one of those types who puts fruit on pizza though.
Steve Carroll: How dare you, sir! I’m loath to put vegetables on, to be honest. Pizza should be cheese, tomato sauce and meat. Topped by more meat.
Alex Perry: This is getting rather graphic.
James Savage: I’d do a massive BBQ with ribs and steaks, burgers, hot dogs, salad, coleslaw and curly fries.
Mark Townsend: Can we have some corn on the cob, please?
James Savage: I had that but then, after further consideration, took it off the menu. Too much hassle to eat, might get splashes of butter on my green jacket and get bits stuck in my teeth.
Mark Townsend: They’ll have bibs and toothpicks at Augusta, and lose the coleslaw.
James Savage: Coleslaw is staying. You can ask the ladies in bikinis who will be serving not to put any on your plate.
Mark Townsend: I’ve been thinking about doing a deal with the posh bloke from Saturday Morning Kitchen and letting him choose the wine, nice story for them and would mean a few free cases for me.
Alex Perry: You’re the Masters champion, Mark. You’re a millionaire!
Dan Murphy: I always think tapas is good in a group environment. There’s something for everyone and it’s a shared experience, a talking point, an ice-breaker. Unless Bob Goalby and Charles Coody started squabbling over who’d had more of the patatas bravas.
Alex Perry: Sandy Lyle doesn’t like chorizo.
Dan Murphy: Sandy, you don’t have to have any of the chorizo. But it would be nice if you tried some.
Alex Perry: Maybe use the calamari as a breakwater.
James Savage: I’m not a tapas fan. You never stop eating but by the end don’t feel like you’ve had a meal. I’m so hungry…
Alex Perry: Who would you sit together to cause a bit of a stir?
James Savage: I’m guessing Danny Willett and Zach Johnson have the least in common.
Mark Townsend: Willett’s dad is a vicar so should be OK.
Alex Perry: ZJ shares a house at The Open with the Rickie Fowler, Justin Thomas, Jordan Spieth crew and I’ve thought about it almost every day since I found out.
James Savage: Wearing a pair of marigolds, scrubbing an unidentifiable stain off the sofa, Zach’s patience finally wore thin. “You’re just not being fair, lads.”
Dan Murphy: I’d basically be throwing the food at anyone who was playing in the event for fear of hindering their preparation. Then there would be leisurely drinks after they’d gone for the old boys. We’d all relax a bit then.
Alex Perry: What’s your food weapon of choice?
Dan Murphy: A (t)rifle.
Alex Perry: Lovely stuff.
James Savage: And don’t forget a name tag for Trevor Immelman.
Alex Perry: If you could invite one more player to go to The Masters, who would you pick? And you can’t all say Grayson Murray.
James Savage: Steven Bowditch. Would be the greatest story if he somehow won the Masters after the couple of years he’s had.
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Mark Townsend: If I had a free hit I would go with Greg Norman.
Dan Murphy: Go on…
Mark Townsend: Norman should have won at least three Green Jackets, his story at Augusta is bordering on tragic, and it would be great to see him swinging a club again. Some iced teas and pimento cheese sandwiches might put a smile on his face.
Dan Murphy: When you consider how well Ernie Els has played at Augusta over the years, and the humiliation he’s suffered there with the yips, it feels to me like there is still some unfinished business. Plus he is a great champion in my eyes.
Alex Perry: How about John Daly?
Dan Murphy: Save him spending the week in Hooters. And I would still watch him, given the chance.
Steve Carroll: Anything to stop him having that car boot sale outside the gates.
James Broadhurst: Is Beef going to the Masters?
Alex Perry: Not as a player. I’m sure someone – probably Sky – will have him there for the “bantz”, as I understand you kids call it.
Steve Carroll: I’ll take Davis Love. He used to be quite good at Augusta. Then the Ryder Cup ruined everything. He’s back after that freak snowboarding accident so it would be a lovely tale if he made it. It could be a film.
Alex Perry: ‘Love Hurts’, starring Bill Pullman.
Steve Carroll: I would watch that.
What would be on your Masters Champions Dinner menu? And who would you like to see at Augusta if it were up to you? Let us know in the comments below, or get involved in the conversation on Twitter and Facebook.
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