Hello. Welcome to the latest edition of Dialled In. Can you please keep it down a bit? I’m rather delicate after a long weekend away for a wedding – congratulations Charlie and Lowri! – where several pints of Double Dragon were neatly and then not-so-neatly disposed into my ever-willing face. (Well, it wasn’t voted best draught ale in the world in 1976 for nothing.)
On Friday, as Charlie and I and a few other of our other university buddies discussed the good ol’ days over some frosty ones, we decided to hit the local pitch and putt. A bit worse for wear, I handed over my £4 and took the wedge and putter from the softly-spoken Welshman in the booth.
After a bit of gentle ribbing from my mates – why does everyone think that if you work for a golf publication then you’re essentially a pro? – I stuck my opening tee shot to within a couple of feet.
One-under through one and I was buzzing. (I take all forms of golf very seriously – just ask my ex-girlfriend about the crazy golf row of 2006.) I won’t bore you with a shot-by-shot of the entire round, but given that all nine greens looked about the size of a dustbin lid – thanks again, Double Dragon – and I was using what I’m almost certain was the first wedge ever made and a putter from a children’s play set, let’s just say I was very happy to end my mini round on exactly that score.
Nine greens in regulation, one one-putt, eight two-putts. When do the World Pitch and Putt Championships begin?
I spent much of Friday evening contemplating whether or not that was where I was going wrong – and, indeed, if the World Pitch and Putt Championships actually exist. Should I drink before EVERY time I play golf? When I think back, some of my best rounds have come after a nerve-calming pint in the bar beforehand. (Or, if you’ve ever played a charity day at my old haunt Okehampton, a shot of port on the 1st tee.)
I am one of the 99% of golfers who have a tendency to think too much when standing over a shot. Maybe the intake of alcohol, however small, is what I need to take that edge off and play a bit more freely.
Maybe I should carry out some sort of project where I have a drink before every round. I could get a sponsor and all sorts – so if anyone from the Felinfoel brewery is reading…
It’s already been done
Ah. Golf Digest recently did carry out a study on how alcohol affects your game, because they always steal my ideas right before I’ve thought of them. The video is pretty cool, though…
On the other hand
Maybe we shouldn’t drink and drive (see what I did there?) after all.
A news report in Australia says some friends hit the links after a few beers and fell out mid-round after one of them, Matthew McKay began “damaging the greens, scratching one with a flag, and stomping golf balls into another”.
McKay disappeared before returning with a Smith & Wesson knife – I don’t know either but I’m guessing it’s pretty big – and started attacking his pals.
Like you do.
One of the attacked ended up in hospital after having an artery in his leg severed and, according to doctors, was “minutes from death”.
You can read the full report in the Herald Sun, and maybe you’ll think twice before questioning someone’s etiquette in future…
Back to happier times, as with all weddings there was plenty of questionable dancing on display…
Apr 15, 2018 at 6:34pm PDT
Yes, exactly like that, Greg. Thanks!
Remember when I played at St Enodoc over the Christmas break and shared with you the humorous yardage marker on the 18th? (What do you mean “no”?)
Anyway, imagine how cool it would be to have your name on one of those…
Apr 14, 2018 at 5:46pm PDT
Baseball uber-legend Derek Jeter’s recent charity golf tournament involved a statue that scared the living daylights out of anyone that came near it…
We brought a living statue to Derek Jeter's golf tournament and the reactions are priceless. #DJCI #Turn2 @JeterTurn2 @twentyer @paigespiranac @nbatvahmad @luisfonsi @d_ross3 @leeanntweeden @amaniatoomer pic.twitter.com/U3vJaO3dei
— The Players' Tribune (@PlayersTribune) April 22, 2018
The best up-and-down of all time?
How about this from Jesper Parnevik, who is on the Champions Tour proving that he has very much still got it…
One of the most amazing pars you'll ever see.
— PGA TOUR Champions (@ChampionsTour) April 20, 2018
There was no episode of The Slam last week due to my Welsh adventures, so here are some things from my colleagues that I thoroughly enjoyed reading while on my way down: Cleveland Golf put out a cool viral video last week and Will Herron wrote some words about it. Tom Irwin played golf with an old pal who played off 54 and got thrashed. Steve Carroll went to learn all about the new World Handicap System at the first of 38 workshops by England Golf. The Niggle team discussed if we should move the UK golf season. The Fourball team answered questions on their least favourite type of golf hole among other things. And James Savage looked into whether or not there are such a thing as more forgiving irons.
Fantasy Golf reminder
And before I go lie down for about a week, a quick reminder to get involved in our Fantasy Golf game for 2018 with fabulous prizes from our pals at FootJoy and TeeOffTimes to be won. The season has already started, but only just, so there is time to catch up. Plus, with weekly prizes up for grabs it is never too late to get involved.
That’s all. Cheers for now. I’d be very interested to hear from you about the drinking before a round theory, so hit me up in the comments below or you can tweet me if that’s your thing.