Hello and welcome to The Slam, National Club Golfer’s look back on the golfing week.

And who remembers Sergio Garcia’s stunning meltdown during the first round of this year’s Masters? You should, it was only a couple of weeks ago…

The Spaniard dunked five balls in the water at the 15th on his way to an octuple bogey 13 that all but ended his chances of even competing, let alone defending his Green Jacket.

So now instead of fending off questions like “Hey, Serg, how come you ain’t got a major?” dude now has to contend with “Bro, WTF happened at 15?”

Asked this week if he has watched it back at all, he replied “Why would I?”

He added: “If you trip and hit your head against a rock, would you like to see it over and over again?”

Actually, Sergio, I kind of would. You know, provided I had actually survived…

The 59 that got away

Speaking of The Masters, Jordan Spieth told reporters at this week’s Zurich Classic he felt he should really have done better on that epic final day that saw him fall just short of Patrick Reed’s total.

“I look back on it and I actually thought that I truly could have shot 59 without doing much more other than making a few more putts,” Spieth said. “I put myself in opportunities on each hole to shoot 59 that day, which is really, really cool.”

59! A reminder that the best round ever in any major championship is 62 – and that was only set last year by Branden Grace at The Open.

He added: “In all honestly, it wasn’t really a hot day with the putter.

“I just put myself in position to birdie just about every hole.”

Well, Jordan, you should have more faith. A birdie on every hole would have been a 54. Believe in yourself, boy.

Sing for the moment

And staying at the Zurich Classic, each team that makes it to the weekend will get to walk out to the opening tee to a soundtrack of their choosing.

Now, I just want to go over a couple of them here – because I’m 99% sure they’re on a wind-up.

Several teams have gone for Metallica’s Enter Sandman or Tupac’s California Love, while George Michael’s Careless Whisper is even a choice.

Justin Rose and Henrik Stenson, will walk out to Gold by Spandau Ballet, because of the Olympics. I actually believe that was Rose’s choice because he’s such a loveable cheeseball.

But then I just start getting suspicious that these scores were just chosen by an intern who looked up where each player is from and made snap choices…

Every team with an Aussie in it is coming out to Men at Work’s Down Under.

Retief Goosen and Tyrone van Aswegen? Africa by Toto.

Shane Lowry and Padraig Harrington? Beautiful Day by U2.

Russell Knox and Martin Laird? Flower of Scotland.

Abraham Ancer and Roberto Diaz? Mexico Lindo y Querido

KJ Choi and Charlie Wi? Gangnam Style.

And my favourite: Harold Varner III and Robert Garrigus will walk out to… yep, you guessed it, Ebony and Ivory.

The mind boggles.

Here is the full list of song choices that were released by the PGA Tour:

William McGirt and Sam Burns: Callin’ Baton Rouge by Garth Brooks
Kevin Na and Byeong Hun An: Make ‘Em Say Ugh by Master P
Chris Kirk and JT Poston: Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne
Chez Reavie and Lucas Glover: For Whom the Bell Tolls by Metallica
Martin Piller and Joel Dahmen: Lovumber by Daddy Yankee
KJ Choi and Charlie Wi: Gangnam Style by Psy
Ryan Armour and Johnson Wagner: Enter Sandman by Metallica
CT Pan and Zac Blair: Half Time by Ying Yang Twins
Retief Goosen and Tyrone van Aswegen: Africa by Toto
Tom Hoge and JJ Henry: Right Now by Van Halen
Shawn Stefani and John Rollins: Thunderstruck by AC/DC
Tony Finau and Daniel Summerhays: Doo Wa Ditty by Zapp & Roger
Keith Mitchell and Stephan Jaeger: Pizza Guy by Touch Sensitive
Ben Silverman and Matt Atkins: Enter Sandman by Metallica
Zach Johnson and Jonathan Byrd: Thunderstruck by AC/DC
Patrick Reed and Patrick Cantlay: Eye of the Tiger by Survivor
Greg Chalmers and Cameron Percy: Down Under by Men at Work
Keegan Bradley and Jon Curran: Shipping Up to Boston by Dropkick Murphys
Brendan Steele and Jamie Lovemark: California Love by Tupac and Dr Dre
Charley Hoffman and Nick Watney: California Love by Tupac and Dr Dre
Billy Horschel and Scott Piercy: Young Forever by Jay Z
Cody Gribble and John Peterson: Careless Whisper by George Michael
Steve Stricker and Jerry Kelly: As Good As I Once Was by Toby Keith
Chris Stroud and Brian Stuard: Enter Sandman by Metallica
Sergio Garcia and Rafa Cabrera Bello: Simply the Best by Tina Turner
Kevin Tway and Kelly Kraft: Gucci Gang by Lil Pump
DA Points and Kyle Thompson: Working for the Weekend by Loverboy
Mac Hughes and Corey Conners: Big League by Tom Cochrane & Red Piper
Justin Thomas and Bud Cauley: Circle of Life by Carmen Twillie
Shane Lowry and Padraig Harrington: Beautiful Day by U2
Russell Knox and Martin Laird: Flower of Scotland
Gary Woodland and Daniel Berger: Forever by Drake
Brandon Harkins and Lanto Griffin: Started from the Bottom by Drake
Kevin Kisner and Scott Brown: Slippery by Migos
Andrew Landry and Talor Gooch: Big Poppa by Notorious BIG
Jason Day and Ryan Ruffels: Down Under by Men at Work
Justin Rose and Henrik Stenson: Gold by Spandau Ballet
Matt Every and Sam Saunders: Running with the Devil by Van Halen
Jon Rahm and Wesley Bryan: DNA by Kendrick Lamar
Emiliano Grillo and Peter Uihlein: Mi Gente by J Balvin, Willy William & Busta K
Jamie Donaldson and Ross Fisher: Sweet Disposition by The Temper Trap
Harold Varner III and Robert Garrigus: Ebony and Ivory by Paul McCartney & Stevie Wonder
Alex Cejka and Ben Crane: Here I Go Again by Whitesnake
Abraham Ancer and Roberto Diaz: Mexico Lindo y Querido by Vicente Fernandez
Xinjun Zhang and Zecheng Dou: Believe in Myself by Zero Point Band

That’s enough from me. Enjoy your weekend, folks.

About the Slam

Founded in 2017 in a tiny green room in Leeds, The Slam, presented by Alex Perry, is National Club Golfer’s irreverent look back on the biggest news of the week from the golfing world.

It has since received rave reviews from the critics:

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“I heard him say Tiger Woods. Did he criticise Tiger Woods?” – Tiger Woods fans

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