Is it REALLY that difficult to cook a bacon sandwich?
What are you trying to do, poison me? I don’t know what this thing I’m holding in my hands is supposed to pass for but a bacon sandwich? No, that’s not it.
It’s so pink, it’s basically still alive. If I hold it up to my ear, you know like kids do with seashells, I reckon it might just oink.
The great British bacon butty – is there any finer way to kick off a day at the course?
I wouldn’t know. It’s been about five years since I had a pre-round feast that could merit the description.
Jesus, how hard can it be? Stick it on the grill, turn it occasionally until it’s crisping up and then put it in a bun – preferably one that’s been lined with a nob of butter and a splatter of red sauce. Or brown. I mean knock yourself out, I’m not an ogre.
But, no, instead you’ve charged me the better part of a fiver for something that could still be sent truffling.
At least make it warm. I sort of appreciate you ‘cooked’ about 200 of these things at the crack of dawn but if it sits in that foil any longer it’ll be able to apply for residency.
Is it any wonder, actually, they’re still untouched? It’s because we know it’s an E coli disaster waiting to happen.
We’re one bout of D+V from being cordoned off and having a hospital ward full of claimants.
Your bacon sandwich is enough to turn me vegetarian. Almost.
Does your golf club do a good bacon sandwich? If so PLEASE let the Angry Club Golfer know in the comments below or via Twitter.
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Steve Carroll
A journalist for 25 years, Steve has been immersed in club golf for almost as long. A former club captain, he has passed the Level 3 Rules of Golf exam with distinction having attended the R&A's prestigious Tournament Administrators and Referees Seminar.
Steve has officiated at a host of high-profile tournaments, including Open Regional Qualifying, PGA Fourball Championship, English Men's Senior Amateur, and the North of England Amateur Championship. In 2023, he made his international debut as part of the team that refereed England vs Switzerland U16 girls.
A part of NCG's Top 100s panel, Steve has a particular love of links golf and is frantically trying to restore his single-figure handicap. He currently floats at around 11.
Steve plays at Close House, in Newcastle, and York GC, where he is a member of the club's matches and competitions committee and referees the annual 36-hole scratch York Rose Bowl.
Having studied history at Newcastle University, he became a journalist having passed his NTCJ exams at Darlington College of Technology.
What's in Steve's bag: TaylorMade Stealth 2 driver, 3-wood, and hybrids; TaylorMade Stealth 2 irons; TaylorMade Hi-Toe, Ping ChipR, Sik Putter.
