I never wear shorts on a golf course. No matter the temperature. We could suffer the fires of hell and I still wouldn’t be seen in any fabric that finishes above my shoe line.
Frankly, nobody needs to see my legs. But there is a practical reason to this sartorial choice.
Socks. Specifically, long golf socks and those of the knee length variety. I don’t own any. And that tends to put me very much at odds with some golf courses.
My next ‘sin’ can also ruffle plenty of feathers. I own lots of ankle length socks. Here’s the problem – none of them are white. How hideous. The shame of it! Won’t someone think of the children?
So I cover up. I just can’t be bothered with the inevitable hassle that can arise, and I don’t want to buy any more clothing I only seem to wear when I go to play golf (hello, dress shoes).
What is the obsession some golf clubs still have with socks? Explain it to me. I am genuinely mystified and would love to learn.
My views on dress codes are pretty liberal. I don’t really care what you wear, as long as you’re comfortable. Each to their own.
I understand many of you reading this might not agree, but even those of you who at stand firmer on what you think can and can’t be worn out on the course have usually got some limits as to how far you’ll go. There is a line, right?
Every now and then, though, someone falls foul of what is surely golf’s most ridiculous etiquette sanction and gets kicked off a course because they’re wearing the ‘wrong’ hosiery.
They splutter on social media. The tabloids lap it up, of course, because – and I can’t believe I’m having to say this – present a sock rule to normal people and they’ll think you’re utterly insane.
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Losing your collective minds over golf socks is ‘unbelievably dumb’
The result is a sport which has been doing some great work in recent years to convince people it’s no longer chock full of idiots stuck in an early 20th century time warp gets dragged through the mill once more.
Don’t think it’s still a thing? Not very long ago, at a very nice southern based UK golf club, I played with a guy who apparently wasn’t deemed to be wearing the right socks.
I wasn’t either, but I had trousers on. Now, you see why I do it…
He ended up wandering off to the nearest sports store and eventually teed it up wearing a pair of knee length, white… football socks. I wanted to offer him some shin pads. But, bizarrely, he now met the club standard and off we went.
If you don’t think that situation isn’t ridiculous then I just can’t help you.
“Short, dark socks look naff so avoid them at all costs,” says another dress code. I’m sorry, I didn’t realise this was Paris Fashion Week. Or that you were the judge of what is trendy.
It would be laughable were it not for all the stuff clubs deem perfectly acceptable as outerwear. I swear there must a global shortage of red trousers. Then the brigade with the 20-year-old jumper – now more rags and thread than wool – with the remnants of lunch splattered all over it.
As I’ve said, wear what you like but do you not see the irony here?
Of all the things you can pick a fight over, losing your collective minds over whether socks are ankle or knee length, black, white, blue, grey, or whatever colour, is mind-blowingly dumb.
If socks bother you that much, it’s clearly not the ‘offending’ golfer that’s the problem. It’s you and your club.
Now have your say
What do you think of golf socks etiquette? Have you been challenged over the colour or length of your golf socks? Or is it rules are rules as far as clubs are concerned? Let me know your thoughts on X.
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