We used to have a term for climate change protesters in my day. We called them hippies. So what if I want to stick the heating on to ‘tropical’ and pack my shopping in enough plastic it would probably drown a dolphin? Global warming? Pffffttt. Everyone knows coasts just erode. It’s NATURAL.
And, yes, the bunkers on my course have started flooding – daily now, as it happens – but I’m sure it’s just a bit of a wet spell. Don’t worry. We’ll all be shovelling six feet of snow from our driveways before we know it.
I don’t understand this Extinction Rebellion lot. I read their rewilding plans with such incredulity I burned the gammon.
Rewilding? Nature? What do they think a golf course is? They’re teeming with wildlife.
We can’t touch the badgers digging up our rough. I even saw a deer once. There’s that woodpecker that starts knocking every time I’ve got a difficult six-footer (I swear it knows) and those geese. I’m cleaning it off my shoes for weeks. So don’t tell me golfers aren’t at one with nature.
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Those protesters dressed up in chemical outfits. Shows what they know. Nothing sobers me up more during a difficult round than watching the greenkeepers struggle with a diseased green because basically ALL the pesticides have been banned.
Honestly, just leave our sport alone. Haven’t you got a building to superglue yourself to?
And don’t try telling me that stuff doesn’t affect the environment. I caught a whiff once while trying to complete a complete a scale model of a Spitfire and the room was spinning for hours.
If you’re really insistent the world’s going to end unless you block off a few roads in London, why not concentrate on the things that really matter, like aeroplanes, or, I don’t know, big belching power stations?
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They’ve probably got a bit more to do with heating up the earth than me pulling into the club car park in my massive Beemer (diesel, of course) and leaving a few plastic tees sprawled about the place.
A golf course is an oasis – a spiritual experience. Take your banners and sod off somewhere else.
