How your self-esteem affects your golf

In all the articles I’ve written for Lady Golfer over the past 12 months I have talked about how to develop yourself as an ‘entire’ golfer – by that I mean the mind skills you learn that you can take 
into everyday life as well.

It is so important that with everything I talk about something is being added to benefit you – not only as a golfer but as a person off the golf course as well.

Social environment plays such a big role when it comes to how we handle our egos. A golfer’s interpretation of what is going on around them can potentially impact greatly on their golf play if she allows it to.

Here’s how it works. If you allow your ego to get involved when you play golf your level of competence becomes based on what others are saying and doing.

For instance, outdoing your fellow players, always looking at how others are doing with their scores and worrying about how you look will be accompanied by the following self-talk: ‘Am I good enough?’, ‘How I can I avoid looking bad?’, ‘How is everyone else doing?’

If you are someone whose competence is ‘self-referenced’ and by that I mean you base your success on personal performance, mastering the skills and on your own level of effort, you will be accompanied by self-talk such as: ‘How can I get better?’, ‘How do I do this?’.

Then you will focus on what really matters the task at hand!

Annika Sorenstam knows a thing or two about golf and she is quoted as saying that ”success is measured one shot at a time”.

The problem with someone who relies too much on her ego while playing is this – should confidence dip, the ability to find the strength from within to focus will become an even bigger mountain to climb.

You need to work on having the ability to concentrate on only that which is important – YOU and the shot you are about to play.

It may seem a contradiction in terms that in order for you not to play on your ego you need to focus on yourself – since this is often the quality we believe makes people ‘egotistical’.

But as I said earlier the ego is concerned with appearing to be in control: a winner, the best.

This not only puts extra pressure on your performance, but also worrying about what you believe other people think of you can leave yourself in an extremely vulnerable position – on and off the course.

Playing golf too much in your ego lays you wide open to needing a ‘quick fix’ when your confidence dips. But looking for someone or something outside your control to help feed your confidence is a recipe for disaster.

You need to be able to find that strength within so that you can control the only part of the process you are able to: how you see yourself and how you can stay focused and in the moment.

The reason I talk so often about the importance of your self-talk remaining positive is so that you can become your own ‘Confidence Caddie’.

If you do not fear losing then you will in effect be lifting a cloud from over you the whole time you play.

When Tiger Woods was asked a question what he thought the major attribute he and Roger Federer have in common he replied: ‘We don’t fear losing’.

The significance of this statement is that there is a different mentality when you look at mistakes as lessons and not as a personal attack on your self-worth.

So this month I am giving away a copy of my free report on ‘The role of self-esteem within your game of golf’ – how you see yourself is so important because if you see yourself as a really competent golfer then that is who you will be.

If you see yourself as not very good at golf then that is how you will play.

Learn how to have good self-esteem and to worry less about what others may or may not be thinking.

Remember, where does your control lie – with what you think about yourself or what others think?

If you have not yet signed up for my free newsletter then go to www.confidencecaddie.com and sign up today so you are eligible for a copy of the free report.

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