Who are you trying to kid? You know you'll be watching

The Scoop

If you've even uttered the words "Who cares?" when discussing The Match between Tiger and Phil, then the answer is staring you in the face. Alex Perry explains in The Slam

Now, some exciting news – The Matchwill be broadcast live on Sky Sports in the UK. Huzzah!

The replies to that tweet were hilarious. Just loads of middle-aged men screeching into their phones about how it’s a waste of time and money and empty threats like, well, this…

Quick tip: If you’re going to the effort to tweet “Who cares?!” then the answer is you. You care.

How can you not be intrigued by this ridiculous spectacle? It’s not event about the golf, or the obscene amounts of money on offer, it’s about how these two generally behave for the four and a bit hours they’ll be thrust in each other’s company in Las Vegas.

Will I be watching? Yes, of course. I’d watch Tiger open a supermarket if they put it on TV.

Sure, the money involved in The Match is utterly ridiculous. If you’ve been living under a rock, or just not interested, the winner will get $9 million of sponsors’ money, with various side bets thrown up throughout the round coming out of the players’ own pockets and donated to charity – the first of which is $200,000 on whether or not Mickelson will birdie the first hole.

On the prize money, Mickelson uttered something during the press conference about how plenty of golf tournaments have purses of far more than $9 million. Yes, Phil, but most weeks that’s split across the 70-odd players that make the cut.

The huge prize pot didn’t really bother me until they started posing with piles of cash, crossing the line into crass. At least Tiger attempted to look a bit bashful, while Phil went for the Floyd Mayweather/hip-hop superstar/embarrassing dad combo…

The worst take I’ve seen regarding the money was offering “perspective” on the $200,000 side bet, claiming that it is the equivalent of someone who earns $60,000 betting $300 a time on side bets.

Yes, the maths might be correct, but someone who earns $60,000 a year – around £45,000 – almost certainly can’t afford to lose that proportion of their salary on some silly bets. Tiger and Phil could gamble 75% of their overall wealth and still be remarkably comfortable for the rest of their days.

I do have a slight hope that the winner will donate the entirety of the prize fund to their chosen charity, and the reason that hasn’t been announced is due to the added pressure of the possibility of said charity missing out on the cash injection. We’ll see.

Away from the huge amounts of green on offer, most people’s problem seems to be that Tiger and Phil just ain’t what they used to be.

“They’re has-beens!” they cry. Well, they’re not, are they? Phil won a WGC and Tiger won his 80th PGA Tour title at the Tour Championship this year, remember.

“I’d much rather watch Rory McIlroy vs. Dustin Johnson!” they scream. Would you really? I’ll bet you $200,000 you wouldn’t.

Incidentally, we had a go at working out who we’d rather watch go head-to-head for $9 million, and you can find out who we said in this week’s Fourball

Enjoy The Match. You know you’ll be watching.

Wink.

More on The Match

About the Slam

Founded in 2017 in a tiny green room in Leeds, The Slam, presented by Alex Perry, is National Club Golfer’s irreverent look back on the biggest news of the week from the golfing world.

It has since received rave reviews from the critics:

“This guy is nowhere near as funny as he thinks he is” – Facebook

“I wish he would get his hair cut” – YouTube

“WTF” – Twitter

“I heard him say Tiger Woods. Did he criticise Tiger Woods?” – Tiger Woods fans

“You look very handsome and I’m ever so proud” – Alex’s mum

If you’d like more musings from Alex’s little world, you can follow him on Twitter. Or don’t, that’s up to you. Probably best you don’t.

Want to see more episodes of the Slam? Then you must be really bored. Anyway, you can do that by clicking here or heading over to NCG’s YouTube channel.

Previous article
Next article
Top