Hello and welcome to this week’s edition of The Slam, NCG’s look back on the golfing week.

Have you recovered from The Open yet? I don’t think I have – imagine if Tiger Woods had won. I’d probably still be in Vegas. (Or wherever the winnings on my £10 bet on him to win would get me…)

Congratulations again to Francesco Molinari, a genuinely heroic performance to deliver Italy’s first major title.

But I still feel it left a lot of questions

Why did no one really acknowledge the fact that the World Nos. 1 and 2, Dustin Johnson and Justin Thomas missed the cut?

How on earth did Justin Rose birdie the 18th four days in a row?

Did Molinari fill the Claret Jug with Peroni?

Why didn’t Jordan Spieth get his haircut before flying to Scotland?

And did the frat boys get the deposit back on their Carnoustie rental home?

Frat footballers

Speaking of golf’s frat boys, there was a wonderful moment during one of Kevin Kisner’s press conferences where he explained that they were playing a lot of soccer – football, to you and, well, everyone outside the US – and they basically stuck Jason Dufner in goal while the rest of them tried to take his head off.

He also told about how Spieth punted the ball into the neighbour’s garden and had to go and ask for it back – and I can’t get rid of the mental image of a sweet old Scottish lady going out to fetch a football for someone she has no idea is a multimillionaire three-time major champion.

DJ Happy

On this week and Dustin Johnson is playing in the Canadian Open and decided to do his best Happy Gilmore impression by wearing an ice hockey jersey.

But it’s not just any jersey – it’s the old No. 99 Edmonton Oilers jersey of future father-in-law and legend of the ice Wayne Gretzky.

Dustin mate, it’s OK, you’ve already got in his daughter’s pants.

Lexi’s struggles

And finally some sad news as Lexi Thompson has announced she has pulled out of the Ricoh Women’s British Open to “recharge [her] mental batteries”.

Lexi says events on and off the course in the past few months have taken their toll on her and she needs some time away.

The most famous incident, of course, was when a viewer called in to report a rules infringement from Thompson at the ANA Inspiration, that saw her go from leading the tournament to suddenly trailing.

It’s a desperately sad situation for Thompson and I speak on behalf of everyone in the golfing world when I say we look forward to having you back.

And if your take is that she’s a multimillionaire sports star living the dream and she should “get over it”, then take it elsewhere, it’s not welcome here.

About the Slam

Founded in 2017 in a tiny green room in Leeds, The Slam, presented by Alex Perry, is National Club Golfer’s irreverent look back on the biggest news of the week from the golfing world.

It has since received rave reviews from the critics:

“This guy is nowhere near as funny as he thinks he is” – Facebook

“I wish he would get his hair cut” – YouTube

“WTF” – Twitter

“I heard him say Tiger Woods. Did he criticise Tiger Woods?” – Tiger Woods fans

“You look very handsome and I’m ever so proud” – Alex’s mum

If you’d like more musings from Alex’s little world, you can follow him on Twitter. Or don’t, that’s up to you. Probably best you don’t.

Want to see more episodes of the Slam? Then you must be really bored. Anyway, you can do that by clicking here or heading over to NCG’s YouTube channel.