'There is 0% chance I'm watching Tiger vs. Phil'

The Scoop

Will ANYONE be watching Tiger vs. Phil? What on earth happened to Team USA? And is this the worst bit of acting of all time? Find out in The Slam

What do me and Justin Thomas have in common? No, not the foppishness, or the boyish good looks, or the supreme golf talent. That’s all far too obvious.

The answer is we both have ZERO chance of ordering the Tiger Woods vs. Phil Mickelson Thanksgiving showdown.

For those that have been living under a rock, the ageing legends will face off in a winner-takes-all $10 million shootout in Las Vegas on Thanksgiving weekend. And Thomas, according to a tweet he put out a couple of days ago, said he “loves Tiger and Phil to death”, but there is “0% chance” he watches it because he’ll be watching an American football game.

When it was confirmed it would be a pay-per-view event, we put out a piece asking who on earth was going to pay for it. The answer was a resounding almost no one.

And now it’s been confirmed there will be no tickets sold for the event, with only a few VIPs and sponsors allowed in. So, will ANYONE be watching Tiger vs. Phil?

Still, not as boring as American football.

America: Oh no

What the hell has happened to the US Ryder Cup team? From the minute Europe were confirmed as winners of the biennial slobberknocker, it’s gone drastically downhill for Jim Furyk’s men.

First off, Patrick Reed came out and said he wanted to “light up” the losing team’s press conference – just like Phil Mickelson did in 2014. He was upset because he didn’t get to play with Jordan Spieth and instead had to play with some chopper called Tiger.

Then an unnamed member of the team was quoted as saying Reed was “full of shit” and he had “begged to play with Woods”.

Then came the claims that Dustin Johnson and Brooks Koepka had come to blows, with the latter threatening to “flatten” his best bud in the European team’s locker room.

Then rumours started swirling that they had fallen out on the flight over to Paris – presumably one had stolen the other’s Lego – which is why they didn’t play together until the final session on Saturday.

Then both came out and denied it, only for Furyk himself to say it did happen and he essentially had to smack their heads together when things started getting a bit desperate at Le Golf National, as well as confirming that Reed did know he’d be playing with Tiger.

There’s more. Phil Mickelson, a captain’s pick remember, came out and said the golf course didn’t suit his eye and playing golf courses like that is a “waste of time”. This from a man who had done a recce of the course weeks before he was selected as a wildcard.

If you want to read more about all of this, I wrote a piece about it over on the website called “What on earth is going on with the USA Ryder Cup team?

Hilariously, when Koepka was rather predictably named the PGA Tour Player of the Year, he and DJ were presumably held at gunpoint to put this little skit together…

Donald ducks out

Sticking with the Ryder Cup, Luke Donald was on BBC 5 Live ahead of the British Masters saying he found it hard being a vice-captain at the Ryder Cup because he was desperate to play and is targeting a return to the team in 2020.

Luke, I love you, you are one of my idols, but I think there is more chance of DJ and Koepka getting their own sitcom.

Curry’s favour

And finally, basketball megastar Stef Curry is in talks to run his own PGA Tour event next year. If you don’t know who Curry is, it’s a bit like Cristiano Ronaldo hosting the Portugal Masters one year, only golf knows better than to seek to promote itself at Ronaldo’s expense.

Recommended in The Slam

About the Slam

Founded in 2017 in a tiny green room in Leeds, The Slam, presented by Alex Perry, is National Club Golfer’s irreverent look back on the biggest news of the week from the golfing world.

It has since received rave reviews from the critics:

“This guy is nowhere near as funny as he thinks he is” – Facebook

“I wish he would get his hair cut” – YouTube

“WTF” – Twitter

“I heard him say Tiger Woods. Did he criticise Tiger Woods?” – Tiger Woods fans

“You look very handsome and I’m ever so proud” – Alex’s mum

If you’d like more musings from Alex’s little world, you can follow him on Twitter. Or don’t, that’s up to you. Probably best you don’t.

Want to see more episodes of the Slam? Then you must be really bored. Anyway, you can do that by clicking here or heading over to NCG’s YouTube channel.

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