The Niggle: What are the most annoying golf sayings?

What is it about golf that makes people say and do things they wouldn’t normally do in real life?

The game is full of mind games, reverse-psychology, cliches and anecdotes which, despite struggling to refrain from ourselves at times, are highly annoying.

James Savage and Mark Townsend pick out some of the worst ones.

JS –  “You should be alright from there”  – It’s the thing people say as a way of trying to make you feel better about the bad shot you’ve just played. It doesn’t work. How can you possibly see if I’ve got a favourable lie and a clear path to the green. Tell the truth i.e ‘that was rubbish’ or say nothing at all.

MT – “I think you’ve got a shot here” – You know as well as I do that this is my shot hole and are basically asking me to be a good boy and pop it out of bounds. 

JS – “I enjoyed that” – You and your playing partners have played like drains all morning. No one has scored more than 27 points, you’ve lost about eight balls between you and someone’s trolley battery died on the 4th.
You’re wet, muddy and cold.
You know it’s going in the water but your playing partner kindly offers the false hope that it may actually carry" MT – “That was your best one of the day” – That stood out a mile from the wild slices of the first 12 holes.

JS – “GO!” – You know it’s going in the water but your playing partner kindly offers the false hope that it may actually carry.

MT – “It should be about here for distance” – Yes, if you’d hit it straight with no side spin. Let’s be honest, we’re never going to find this ball.

JS – “I parred it with my second ball” – Good for you. Seven?

MT – “Does your husband play?” – Said, by a wannabe (and failed) comedian, when you leave a 10-foot putt short. Also likely to say things as rubbish as ‘you’ve dropped your lipstick’.

WHICH SAYINGS ANNOY YOU?

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