Which golfer would you most like to go for a drink with?November 1, 2017 The Scoop
In this week's Niggle, the NCG team discuss which golfers they would most like to join them on a night out. This could get messy
James Savage: I’m going on a 48-hour bender in Vegas with Tiger Woods.
Joe Urquhart: Like in The Hangover?
James Broadhurst: I’m not helping you look for Tiger after you lose him in Vegas.
Alex Perry: There was a tiger in The Hangover.
Joe Urquhart: I feel like if you’re having a pint with a golfer you need to pick a nice course to have said pint at…
James Broadhurst: Don’t say Kingsbarns.
Alex Perry: Andy Sullivan would be good because he’d tell you the stories you want to hear. Couple of beers in him and his lips loosen.
Mark Townsend: Anthony Wall. Not really. I’d like to get trolleyed with Eddie Pepperell, George Coetzee, Jordan Spieth, Jason Dufner, Marc Leishman, Chris Wood and David Duval. Maybe Shane Lowry, too. Rickie Fowler and Tommy Fleetwood would be nice. And of course Robert Rock. And John E Morgan. And James Morrison.
Alex Perry: I’m all in on Morgan. He’s definitely got some stories to tell. What would you ask them to get the conversation started?
Mark Townsend: What would you like to drink?
Alex Perry: Pepps, lager. Spiethy, lager. Woody, lager, sometimes cider.
Craig Middleton: Different drinks for different swings , so…
Mark Townsend: I don’t think I’d fancy Bubba or anyone overly religious.
James Savage: Not sure Spieth would be much fun. Imagine how long it would take him to order a drink.
Craig Middleton: I’d like to go for a pint with John Daly. Imagine the scenes.
James Broadhurst: I wouldn’t be keen on being out with Big John. I don’t want to be the guy he turns to when he gets in a bar fight.
Alex Perry: But he’d be a good person to have on your side in a bar fight. Though I can’t imagine you in a bar fight.
James Broadhurst: Absolutely. He has the crazy eyes.
Alex Perry: I’d quite like Bubba on my side in a scrap. Remember that episode of The Simpsons where the gangs are fighting in their home and the little guy just does nothing then out of nowhere destroys everyone? That would be Bubba.
James Savage: I’m taking Dustin Johnson to Vegas, too. And Phil Mickelson. Tiger and Phil will be BFFs by the end of it.
Joe Urquhart: Having given it A LOT of thought. I’ve finally settled on James Hahn.
James Savage: He’s first reserve for our trip.
Mark Townsend: I’d also like to go for a pint with Scott Hend, not sure why particularly but mainly because he’s an Aussie. Along with the Germans my favourite nationality.
Alex Perry: I like Aussies generally – having lived with about six in my time you learn to love them – but Adam Scott was really dull when I met him. Pleasant, but didn’t seem up for a laugh. Suppose I could just get lost in his eyes…
Mark Townsend: Couple of snifters and he’d drop Media Adam and be a right laugh.
Alex Perry: What do you reckon he drinks?
Mark Townsend: Bottled lager.
James Savage: Imagine the low-hanging fruit on a night out with Adam Scott.
Mark Townsend: Yes, position Scotty, Rocky and Rickie in one corner, and then me, Lowry and the Duf glide over late doors.
Tom Irwin: I would like to go out with Nicolas Colsaerts in Antwerp for a long weekend. After I would like to cuddle Victor Dubisson for a few days in a remote gite whilst eating cheese on cushions.
Mark Townsend: As many Frenchmen and Northern Europeans as possible. Imagine being a proper mate of Dubs and getting hair tips.
Tom Irwin: We will just sit in silence nibbling on a smelly blue number. Him being enigmatic, me sweating.
Mark Townsend: Small glass of vin rouge and Edith Piaf on in the background.
James Savage: I’ve been thinking about my Vegas trip a lot. Even found myself getting excited at the prospect – a bit like when you start spending imaginary lottery jackpot winnings.
Alex Perry: Are you going to hashtag the trip, #SB2K17 style?
James Savage: Nah. It’s more of a ‘what happens on tour, stays on tour’ vibe. I’ve ordered the T-shirts.
Alex Perry: What would they say?
James Savage: Tiger, DJ, Phil and Sav.
Alex Perry: Tiger, DJ, Phil and “Sav”.
James Savage: You won’t see the names anyway as we’re wearing black leather jackets.
Alex Perry: Cruising down the Strip in Grease Lightning.
James Savage: Listening to Eye of the Tiger by Survivor. Obviously.