What would you put into golf's Room 101?

The Scoop

Plastic or wooden tees? Visors? White belts? What about halfway houses? Team NCG discuss what they would rid from the world of golf if given the chance...

Alex Perry: I played with a couple of mates earlier this week on a recent jaunt back to my homeland and one of them drops an approach short shot of the green. All a bit of a blur but the next thing I remember is he pulls out a chipper. Try and stop me putting the chipper into Room 101.

Mark Townsend: I carry a chipper and recently had a double hit with it. It’s a brilliant club but still takes a large amount of skill to use properly. If you want to get back to basics – they’ve been around for decades – then have a look at the size of your driver.

Not sure I would put any piece of equipment in there, game is hard enough without a bit of a leg up.  In my Room 101 would go white belts, white trousers worn by anyone outside tropical climes, white piping on trousers, gilets, bag tags, novelty headcovers, iron headcovers, knee-length socks, the insistence to wear white socks, those novelty golf wigs, any plastic tee other than pink castles, and the towel belt.

Alex: Thought you might enjoy one…

Dan Murphy: I’m going to put rough into Room 101. Nothing good ever came of it. It slows the game down, costs us golf balls, is tedious to recover from and makes the game, which is hard enough as it is, one-dimensional.

James Savage: I’m putting halfway houses and snack trolleys in. And lead trolley batteries. And those silly brush things to clean your shoes after a round – if there’s no an air hose I’m banging my muddy shoes together in the middle of the car park.

James Broadhurst: I’m going to put visors into Room 101. I don’t think anyone in the history of golf has looked cool while sporting a visor.

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James S: Great shout. Nothing says wannabe tour pro like a visor. Can only imagine what Mark would think if he was forced to play with someone in white trousers with a white belt, a gilet and a visor. Or even funnier if he was forced to wear said outfit…

Craig Middleton: Visors would be good for people who don’t have hat heads. Me.

Alex: Mark will love a visor because he has tremendous hair. Gonna need to hear more about your ill feeling toward halfway houses and cart girls, James…

James S: Basically, they slow you down, disrupt the rhythm of the round. What do you do with that cup of tea when it’s time to tee off? Then it’s too hot to drink and you burn your lip, spill it down yourself when trying to take sip while walking down the fairway. Even if you just get a Mars bar, there’s never enough bins and you end up with the wrapper in your pocket and you pull it out every time you need a ball marker. Surely we can manage three-and-a-half hours without stopping for refreshments?

James B: Preach, my brother. Preach.

James S: Another thing I’d put in are stand-bags on trolleys. I’m yet to come across a trolley, push or electric, that’s comfortable with a stand bag on it.

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Craig: I’d put wooden tees in Room 101. I’m just getting sick of the disappointment every time I go to pick it up out the ground and its snapped in half. You also then get a very messy tee box with bits of sharp wood all over the shop. Pointless. Stick to plastic.

Alex: I sense a wooden vs. plastic tees argument coming on…

Craig: Anyway, I got 32 points at the weekend despite just 10 on the front nine. Disgusting start.

Mark: The mystery of your back nine should remain just that. The front nine sounds more interesting…

Craig: So you’re happy for me to explain the bad bits?

Mark: Exactly. And then cleverly drop in good bits merely to show off.

Craig: All I said is I got 32 points with a good back nine and poor front nine? Hardly going into detail. I don’t get why people who work in a golf environment get annoyed about someone talking about a round of golf.

Mark: I could work anywhere and wouldn’t want a hole-by-hole from somewhere I’ve never been.

Alex: I can’t stand people going through their round. I just don’t care. Tell me how you got on and if anything interesting happened and move on. Otherwise off to Room 101 with you.

Joe Urquhart: I’m putting idiot buggy drivers in. Just stop. Now. Get out. Walk. Morons…

Steve Carroll: I’ll add anyone who needs more than two practice swings before taking a shot. You’re not on the PGA Tour. Get on with it.

Alex: Anyone care to put GolfSixes in Room 101? What are your thoughts on the format?

James S: Potentially good. I just think the timing didn’t work for the TV viewer. Anyone with kids is going to struggle to watch it on Saturday and Sunday lunch/tea time. Give it a try in America so we can watch it over here in the evening. Or do it somewhere floodlit over here.

golf room 101

Joe: The format and idea was good. The TV coverage was crap. They were appealing to people mostly already converted to golf on Sky. It really eeded the BBC or Channel 4 behind it to be more accessible.

James S: Crowds on Saturday looked a bit sparse and I found the walk-on bit very cringe worthy. Think the pyrotechnics and music is good if there’s already a decent crowd. When there was only a handful it just looked and felt very forced and awkward.

Joe: Also, putting the final on at the same time as Man United vs Arsenal probably wasn’t a great idea if they were trying to get those channel flicking.

Alex: I found the MC screeching on the mic as the ball was flying into the green a bit cringe – but I’ve heard from someone that was there who said that was excellent and he was really engaging. That really didn’t come across on the TV.

James S: It seems that the shot clock has been widely accepted as a good thing and should be rolled out across Euro and PGA Tour events.

Joe: The mascot was awesome, though.

Alex: I did enjoy both of those.

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