Masters 2012: Spotter’s guide to the action
How to play: Spot the following to score the points in the brackets
The par-3 contest
Hole-in-one (1)
Palmer, Player and Nicklaus together (1)
Small child making a four-foot putt (1)
Small child missing a four-foot putt (5)
Large guffaws when player’s dad (possibly Gerry McIlroy) misses a tiddler (2)
General observations
Hazel Irvine introduction from Magnolia Lane (1)
David Livingstone introduction from Magnolia Lane (1)
General milling about at the Champions Dinner (2)
Honorary Starters making a joke of their age (2)
Generic visit to a packed Media Centre (2)
Generic chat on the clubhouse lawn with any ‘celebrity’. Maximum of five (10)
Mention of no bunkers on 14th (1), Sarazen on 15th (1), Woods on 16th (1), Eisenhower on 17th (1) and Lyle on 18th (1)
At least two re-runs of Tiger’s chip at 16 in 2005… Oh my goodness! (2)
Whatever the scores going into Sunday a mention of Greg Norman (2)
Late evening shot of team of lawnmowers (2)
Ken on the course
A visit to McIlroy’s drive at the 10th last year (3)
Hitting putts at 11th (2), 14th (2) and 16th (2)
Hitting pitches to 13th (2) and 15th (2)
Running his fingers over the fairway (2) before adding ‘lovely’ (3)
Use of the words ‘picture perfect’ (1), ‘paradise on earth’ (1) and ‘died and gone to heaven’ (1)
Giggling in the background at an Alliss one-liner (3)
Use of the words ‘picture perfect’ (1), ‘paradise on earth’ (1) and ‘died and gone to heaven’ (1)
Peter Alliss
Calling a player a ‘little tinker’ after an unlikely birdie (2)
Wearing his glasses on some string straps (3)
Andrew Cotter
Voice getting louder/more excited as the sentence goes on (2)
Mark Roe
Use of the words ‘imperious’ (1) and ‘magnificent’ (1)
Casual mention of some short-game work with any player (2)
Ewen Murray
‘All that is in the future, this here is the present’ (2)
Talk of Darren Clarke getting a ‘little steep’ (3)
Bruce Critchley, aka The Colonel
‘The thought is the father of the deed’ (4)
Use of the word ‘harbinger’ as in ‘Let’s hope that really is the harbinger of things to come’ (3)
Every time a sentence begins ‘One suspects’ (1), ‘You sense’ (1), ‘And of course the great thing’ (1)
Mention of the patrons being a ‘human herbaceous border’ (3)
Butch Harmon
Player (insert name) is a ‘fabulous young man’ (2)
Casual mention of work with Mickelson (1), D Johnson (1), Watney (1) and Woodland (1)
Casual mention of previous work with Tiger along the lines of ‘that isn’t the Tiger Woods I know’ (2)
How did you do?
90+
You are ‘one of a kind’
75+
Slightly worrying
50+
Perfectly acceptable
Under 50
Take up tennis
Tom Irwin
Tom is a lifetime golfer, now over 30 years playing the game. 2023 marks 10 years in golf publishing and he is still holding down a + handicap at Alwoodley in Leeds. He has played over 600 golf courses, and has been a member of at least four including his first love Louth, in Lincolnshire. Tom likes unbranded clothing, natural fibres, and pencil bags. Seacroft in Lincolnshire is where it starts and ends.