Karl’s blog: Listen to your mates

I know we’re all stubborn when it comes to playing, but I think it’s time we accepted we’re all in this together, battling against this eternal perjury they call golf.

So maybe it’s time to accept that our mates may actually be able to help us – after all, they are the ones that have to endure our pre-shot routine, loose swing, and mindless outpouring of disgust at the inevitable hazard-bound result.

Side note – why is it that no matter how good a shot, we always complain? Is there something in a golfer’s make up that prevents us from saying, “actually, I’m quite pleased with that”?

‘Actually, I’m quite pleased with that’ – No golfer ever
It’s fairly generally accepted that the most annoying kind of golfer is the one who gives you a constant stream of un-asked for advice – at least the slow players are a group ahead and you don’t actually have to talk to them, instead making up imagined personalities where they head home from ruining your afternoon with their sloth-like gait and insistence upon marking their ball before every single putt in order to spit on kittens and eat eggs harvested from battery hens, because they are just that horrible.

No, this is the chap who watches every shot you strike, causing you to sweat more than a 3-foot clutch putt on the 18th. He’s a big lad, and he’s probably wearing white trousers. A round with him is a true endurance test – you know you’re playing crap, you don’t need him to tell you.

You know the one I mean, and you’ve got an image of him in your head right now.

And yet, when playing with your general mates, perhaps a steady stream of advice is a good thing?

Uncle Pester might be taking things a bit too far, but a round with the people you actually like, pointing out the little things, could prove beneficial – and so it was when I was playing a round at the weekend.

My big issue (apart from general crapness), is that I try and hit the ball too hard, despite knowing for a fact that I can get a decent distance with a steady, smoother stroke – you know, the one you save for the range.

And yet, here I was, having hacked my way to the fourth tee, and our Paul says: “slow you’re swing down, you’re trying to hit it too hard.”

Now Paolo is the same handicap as me – 22 – but he’s a much better player than I am. We were pretty much on a par, then I started taking these lessons and although the one in five shot I hit will be straighter and longer than he can hit it, it’s those other four shots where he excels and I struggle.

But you know what, he was absolutely right.

By the way Pabs – your weight when you drive is on the back swing and so you’ve had to adjust your swing to get it in the air – you’re leaning back when you hit it – and that’s what causes the fade and severe backspin that prevents you getting any roll (Readers, feel free to correct me if I’m wrong – we’re all in this together remember).