Masters 2012: Spotter’s guide to the action

Equipment

Planning to stay glued to the TV (and armchair) for the year’s opening Major? Add an element of competition to your viewing

How to play: Spot the following to score the points in the brackets

The par-3 contest

Hole-in-one (1)

Palmer, Player and Nicklaus together (1)

Small child making a four-foot putt (1)

Small child missing a four-foot putt (5)

Large guffaws when player’s dad (possibly Gerry McIlroy) misses a tiddler (2)

General observations

Hazel Irvine introduction from Magnolia Lane (1)

David Livingstone introduction from Magnolia Lane (1)

General milling about at the Champions Dinner (2)

Honorary Starters making a joke of their age (2)  

Generic visit to a packed Media Centre (2)

Generic chat on the clubhouse lawn with any ‘celebrity’. Maximum of five (10)

Mention of no bunkers on 14th (1), Sarazen on 15th (1), Woods on 16th (1), Eisenhower on 17th (1) and Lyle on 18th (1)

At least two re-runs of Tiger’s chip at 16 in 2005… Oh my goodness! (2)

Whatever the scores going into Sunday a mention of Greg Norman (2)

Late evening shot of team of lawnmowers (2)

Ken on the course

A visit to McIlroy’s drive at the 10th last year (3)

Hitting putts at 11th (2), 14th (2) and 16th (2)

Hitting pitches to 13th (2) and 15th (2)

Running his fingers over the fairway (2) before adding ‘lovely’ (3)

Use of the words ‘picture perfect’ (1), ‘paradise on earth’ (1) and ‘died and gone to heaven’ (1)

Giggling in the background at an Alliss one-liner (3)
Use of the words ‘picture perfect’ (1), ‘paradise on earth’ (1) and ‘died and gone to heaven’ (1)

Peter Alliss

Calling a player a ‘little tinker’ after an unlikely birdie (2)

Wearing his glasses on some string straps (3)

Andrew Cotter

Voice getting louder/more excited as the sentence goes on (2)

Mark Roe

Use of the words ‘imperious’ (1) and ‘magnificent’ (1)

Casual mention of some short-game work with any player (2)

Ewen Murray

‘All that is in the future, this here is the present’ (2)

Talk of Darren Clarke getting a ‘little steep’ (3)

Bruce Critchley, aka The Colonel

‘The thought is the father of the deed’ (4)

Use of the word ‘harbinger’ as in ‘Let’s hope that really is the harbinger of things to come’ (3)

Every time a sentence begins ‘One suspects’ (1), ‘You sense’ (1), ‘And of course the great thing’ (1)

Mention of the patrons being a ‘human herbaceous border’ (3)

Butch Harmon

Player (insert name) is a ‘fabulous young man’ (2)

Casual mention of work with Mickelson (1), D Johnson (1), Watney (1) and Woodland (1)

Casual mention of previous work with Tiger along the lines of ‘that isn’t the Tiger Woods I know’ (2)

How did you do?

90+
You are ‘one of a kind’

75+
Slightly worrying

50+
Perfectly acceptable

Under 50                
Take up tennis

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